apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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