i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
