Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
