My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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