Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
ugly people sure do ruin things
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
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