Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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