so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
