Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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