would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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