FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
