How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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