This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
