I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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