i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
How does one acquire holy water?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
