He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
