hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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