I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
