Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
