In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
