youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
