we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
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