Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
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