She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
