You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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