I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
