You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
