the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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