The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
