opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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