why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Randomize
