He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
