Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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