Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
