she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
