is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
