stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
