I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
