the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I got inside last night via doggy door
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
