You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
