where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
