Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
The cops high fived after they tackled you
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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