So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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