We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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