the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
