she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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