Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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