I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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