Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
