i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
