you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Randomize
