Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
